Shock

I'd like to have the luxury to really journal right now - sift through my thoughts and make some sense of them, but I'm really only able to give the short version for the benefit of a few loved ones who are really far away - like you, Victoria.

George was in a car accident Wednesday morning on the way to work. He ran off the road into a ditch and back out again. He broke a bone in his index finger and two lumbar vertebrae. He won't require surgery, but he'll be in a back brace for the next six months. He's still at the hospital but he'll be coming home in the morning. I was supposed to spend the weekend in Columbus with my sweet Teresa, and instead my life feels like it's changing drastically, at least for the time being.

I've had very little sleep, really bad coffee, lots of bad news, and somehow I am to draw near to the Lord and accept this as part of His perfect plan. I'm having a really hard time with that - I like to be in control of things and it's really difficult to realize that I'm not. Not at all.

Please pray for our family. Pray for George's healing and comfort. Pray for me to have strength to sustain me as I care for him and for everybody else. And pray for the broken hearts of two incredibly disappointed friends who were giddy with delight at the thought of hugging and giggling and sharing a few days together.

Silver Lining

There were storms here last night and it seems as though everyone I've seen from other moms at OT to the cashiers at Kohl's are talking about wind damage and funnel clouds. I have a stormy story, but it happened inside our four walls.

Timothy frequently engages in irrational behavior. Shocking, I know. A three-year-old with a screw loose. I get that this is not a news flash and doesn't even seem the least bit odd. I can tell when he's having a particularly defiant day. He and his siblings are in a constant battle for control of whatever object the three of them deem to have the most value at any given point. They'll pass by me in a flash clutching said object and literally running for their lives. My smart boy Timothy has figured a way around this unending battle. He decided that the only way to ensure his permanent control of the coveted object is to send it away. Out of the house. Courtesy of the kids' room potty. I've heard a couple of questionable stories from the kids like, "Mommy, Timothy flushed (insert object here) down the toilet...." and I've wondered whether it really happened or if they're just trying to suck me into their drama. Yesterday, however, all three agreed upon what had transpired and I had no choice but to take their word on it.

Timothy was hanging out with Joey in the bathroom while he, well, did his business. I don't discourage this. I want for Timothy to be a member of the big boys club and who better to cheer him on than his big bro. However, I'm always a little hesitant to turn my back on the two of them due to the high probability that there will be a mess to clean up afterward. Something distracted me. (Surely it wasn't THE PHONE!) Mary called me in and tells me that Timothy flushed her favorite jeweled dragonfly hair clip that her Grandma bought her at the mall and her green caterpillar hair comb. Wow, I thought. No amount of discipline will bring those things back. And that comb's awfully big. But what's a girl to do now?

Today, during Timothy's nap, Joey was, well, doing his business (Sorry, Joe. No privacy here.) and I reminded him that he needed to flush the toilet if he was going to repeatedly wipe. After he reached back and pulled the flusher he started shrieking that the water was coming up instead of down. Don't panic, I thought. I rushed in there and bargained with the potty. Please don't overflow. Just stop right there. I'll do anything you want. Just NO POOP WATER ON MY FLOOR!! I got out the plunger and tried to dislodge the mound of paper it takes to wipe a four-year-old hiney and realized that the toilet might not be working at its peak capacity. I called George who dutifully said he'd stop by Home Depot and pick up the snake thingy to clean it out. Really I'm shocked we don't already own one.

Okay, so after dinner (here's where the story gets good - ) we all headed upstairs with this new tool that Joey declared to be totally awesome to do some manly playing in the potty. I explained to Timothy that when he flushes unauthorized objects down the potty that it can make the potty sick (huh?) and not work well. George valiantly fished the caterpillar comb from the toilet while I tried to keep a one-year-old from getting in the way and tried to keep from wretching from the thought of all the poop water. We threw away the comb, which oddly enough Mary thought we'd be giving back to her (ew, NO) and George headed to the garage to put away our new favorite man tool.

Timothy called down to George, in the midst of all the normal chaos, and said, "Daddy, I'm sorry I flushed it down the potty. I not do it again." Stop. What was that? Say it again, son. He repeated his heartfelt, unprovoked act of regret and repentance. Now, who knows what he might flush down the potty tomorrow or a week from now, but I'll take what I can get. It was a happy moment for George and I both. The silver lining in my really long story about a boy who knows that the toilet is the last stop in the fight for contol in our happy little family. That's my boy. Do I think he'll keep his word and refrain from frantically disposing of random things of value? Nope. Not at all. But he got it. In that moment. And we loved it.

I am IN LOVE with this girl!!

I've been ridiculously in love with each of my babies - especially when they're under two and aren't talking back and running away yet. Kayce took these pictures of Emmie when she watched the kids last week for Timothy's OT appointment. (You're the absolute best, sweetie!!)

Have I mentioned that Emmie's walking now?!? She took her first tentative steps about a week or so ago and now she's toddling across the room moving from stable object to stable object. Sometimes her judgment about what constitutes a stable object is a little off and she ends up hanging on to a puzzled sibling. She's also started following Mary around like crazy and it's so stinkin' cute to see Mary's happy little shadow. The two of them were splashing in the bathtub and laughing hysterically this evening and it was just precious. So were the two naked bottomed boys that were chasing each other around on the way to the shower. It's nice to have moments that make you smile like this. They make it all worth it.

Exhaustion

Man, I am tired. Really tired. I stayed out late Friday night. Couldn't go to sleep last night. Up early both mornings, of course. And I've been investing a great deal of time and mental energy in wrapping things up for the year for AWANA. We had our year end award ceremony this evening and I felt myself feeling the same sappy sentimentality that I feel when we reach pretty much every milestone moment. Joey is done with Cubbies and will be in Sparks (and Kindergarten) next year. We'll have three kids in AWANA. Wow. Time is really flying by. I can't wait to go to sleep tonight. I'm the kind of tired that only a long night of horizontal stillness can cure. This upcoming week will be interesting. Timothy is having his in class evaluation at the elementary school, I am meeting with a child therapist on Tuesday, I have a shopping/dinner date with my CHEACT peeps on Friday, and Mary's first ballet recital is on Saturday morning. Did I mention I get weepy and sappy at all these things? I have a week to prepare to hold myself together. Ridiculous, I know. It's time to sneak into my hibernate place.

There are Others

This isn't a LOST post, even though I am strangely unable to stop watching what I think is one of the most mind boggling TV shows in recent memory. I am thrilled to the tips of my toes to report that I had an incredible coffee date with a new friend with whom I really connected in a way that is unusual for those of us who live on the fringe. We know that we are not the only people who feel the way we do, and yet it's nearly impossible to find like-minded people with whom our families can experience genuine connection. Now before a couple of you get your panties in a wad, part of my problem is having meaningful authentic friendships with people who just live too darned far away. You know who you are, and I think all of you should move to within 15 minutes of my nearest Starbucks. Through our involvement with AWANA we have met a family who homeschools, shares similar parenting struggles, and feels that "I don't quite fit here just right" feeling with other families from church. Finding Others is kind of like finding a great 90% off sale, or even better, being given FREE FOOD at Starbucks. Yeah, that happened too - pretty much making it one of the best coffee dates I've ever had. We lost track of time and had to be sucked back into real life by a phone call from home.

Hey, girl, thank you so much for sharing your time and your heart with me and reminding me that it's okay to be real, have real fun, and experience real fellowship. It was really awesome. Really. I spend so much time feeling out of place when trying to relate to other people that it was relaxing and comfortable to be with someone who "just gets it". And a great reminder of how much we girls need girlfriends!! If we had to get our daily word count solely by interacting with our kids and our husbands, we might burst into flames. Okay, maybe just me. My RDA of talking is quite high.

It's gonna be a long weekend. We're wrapping up AWANA for the year and I have quite a bit to do to help prepare for Sunday night. This was a great power boost to help me gear up for the challenge. I hope I feel the same in the morning when my boys pop in at a quarter til seven.

Getting Back on Track

So it's been a month now and it has been brought to my attention that at least a couple of my loyal readers would like to see something other than my daughter's bedhead photo. I get that. And I appreciate the fact that someone even notices, to be honest. I'd like to think that this is just a season of busyness and that at some (near) point in the future I can take a deep breath and resume some of my own favorite activities.

Given that the originally stated purpose of my blog is to journal gratitude, I'd like to start there and see what else comes along. I am realizing the type of mother-daughter relationship that I had dreamed for and somehow doubted would be possible. It has been two months now that Mary has been taking medication and she is genuinely a different child. I dislike the constant worrying about making certain she eats enough, but the improvement in her academic abilities, her relationships, and her extracurricular interests is remarkable. Her ballet teacher tells me she is doing much better at listening and paying attention; she is helpful with and kind to her siblings nearly all the time, and her ability to complete her school assignments and comprehend written and spoken information has improved exponentially. Not only is she a massive help with her baby sister, she is able to communicate to me what she wants from me (for example, individual mommy time) AND wait for it to happen. Our big thing the past few weeks has been watching American Idol together. Her little commentary and her impression of the music and the judging crack me up!! We sat on the bed together and cried Wednesday night when her beloved Brooke was voted off the show. Now we're looking forward to the end of summer when the Idols will be touring in Texas and we can go to her first concert together, just her and me. I can remember going to see Huey Lewis and the News in 1984 at the Palmer Auditorium with my dad (bet you didn't remember, Dad, did you?) and to this day I cherish the memory of that time spent with him. I was devasted a couple years later when I accidentally washed my concert shirt with something red and turned it pink. Oh, life's little lessons... Anyway, I am so unbelievably grateful to have the opportunity to enjoy being with Mary and look forward to spending time alone with her. I can't wait for her first ballet recital next Saturday. I could almost burst with joy. This falls under the category of never say never - if someone had told me that I would opt to give my child medication at this age, I would have laughed in their faces, but the success I see in her and the confidence she is building is worth it, no question.

If any of you feel inclined to comment, I'm curious to know what YOUR first concert experience was and what memories you have to go along with it. I bet there are some pretty funny stories lurking out there.